Social media = good

Relax, relax, relax.

The state of chillaxation is something I’m endlessly searching for.

It’s what we rush home to at the end of a long arduous day.  It’s what we fantasize about when  stuck in the harsh cold light of day.

The duvet, the hot drink, the sunset, the cave.  For me that’s synonymous with Sade, Peanut hot chocolate and my cosy blanket den -Twitter and Facebook.

My unconscious addiction to fixing, explaining, solving me and all those unfortunate enough to come into contact with me 😜 means I can leave myself derelict, lying on the roadside, defunct.

When I find a thing to be done -abounding enthusiasm, single mindedness, excitement grips me super tight to the extent that I strangle my own awareness of my physical limitations.

The animal mind suppresses the rational mind and I start reacting to the stimuli around me- mindlessly chasing something, anything to solve the newest burning question and salve my disquiet .

Of course, chaotic behavior only sends stress levels soaring and I’m left with a nasty taste in the mouth.

Once I’ve crossed the boundary of what is manageable, the roller coaster of ups and downs inevitabley ensues.

Learning to switch off the brain and purely exist on a physical level is a new discipline that I have recently  hunted and ruthlessly captured.  It has enriched a sense of general well being in the midst of life’s topsy turviness.

Twitter now holds that highly esteemed place in my  psychi of chief counselor, calmant  and energizer.

Once clicked on the icon, in the matter of seconds the old addage-a change is as good as a rest- plays out.

Whilst reclining on a sofa, steaming hot drink with melting caramel waffle balancing on the top, remote control heating at my finger tips –

I am passively exposed to: sumptuous art, food and mother nature, rich colour, tourist must – visits, economic analyses, leadership strategy, cool jazz swing a longa, pedagogical insights, mindfulness reminders, political scandal,one liners that pin point a deep dear truth…

This is the massive plus of social media- that the stuff that stuffs our brain can be removed and replaced in seconds like replacing your sole (in your shoes) -pardon the pun!

Now don’t get me wrong: the many anti social twitches, lonelinesses and increasingly awkward face to face we see is partly caused by the many many hours wiled away intertwined with some device. Prince Ea  nails it with this. Check it out –

But peoples, let’s not over simplify matters and allow social media to become an easy 🎯 target for our predisposition to a navel gazing  ‘I’ focus.

The angst that in your face can cause-can be temporarily air lifted and filled with tantalising #allandnothing.


Deep drama in little moments- yday marriage seminar

I have something to confess – keep it to yourself. I am –

supremely arrogant, cynical and magnificently gullible

How The Lord managed to mingle polar opposites in one sane – last time I checked -mind -defies me

Ps if u have any odd cocktail of traits please reply -at the v least it will give me that delusion of being normal for a bit!

Why did I tell u this? Well-  seminars and self help stuff turns me offfffffff. My mind gets filled with cheesy cliches and images of insincere good looking people trying to pull a fast one and make a quick buck out of peoples bad life situs.

Deep drama in little moments- I am a fan of quirky word combo’s

Come on guys- feels like I’m losing u- take a deep breath and allow your mind to spread over these words-

Deep drama in little moments

Our speakers showed us that working together on the minutia – the everyday- as a couple -teaches us beautiful principles of trust, being different to our past, being quiet, suggesting gently, giving in but not giving up….

This mindful moment was achieved thru some highly technical psychological top of the range equipment- tooth picks and blue tac.

Building together was so refreshing for us as a couple and set a tone of enjoying the moment and casting out my negative pre conceptions of seminars

We talked as a whole group about turning to each other in our relationship thru everyday stuff from doing laundry to travelling to work together to going to community events to reading out loud together

It showed me that the trivial is the glue of true togetherness.

We travelled thru the idea of accepting influence from your spouse.  There were some great conversational starters or dampeners – depending on the quality of relationship :


My spouse is usually too emotional

I try to listen respectfully, even when I disagree

If I keep trying to convince my spouse, I will eventually win

Being honest with one another was tough and refreshing as an oasis in a desert. The cooool jazz in the back ground definitely helped.

Then we looked at using 5 steps to solving problems

-Have a gentle start up

-Have a gentle response

-Calm down

-Find common ground

-Bear with each other’s faults

Now this was music to all our ears! We were being given tools to take away and practice with.

Then we just had jokes on our tables looking at how to soften comments so they move from conversation stoppers to opening our hearts toward one another

How to turn

You’re too wimpy to get a pay rise.


I can’t stand it when your mother comes over.


When was the last time you bought me anything?

There wasn’t a right or wrong. The discussion -the journey of noting the potential emotional terrain of cess pits, lakes of content, pot holes and scenic stopping points filled us with energy and giggles.

I suppose it was empathising with couples of various races, classes, educational exposure yet hearing that what seems so unique to our relationship is actually common to mortality

Between a lovely lunch and more guffaws and comedy we ended with a couple heart to heart about our future dreams for life and blending them toward a tag line for our families that we can re visit and remind ourselves over and over.

I felt so grateful that my mates down the road could inject us all with hope.

That’s when I had the a ha moment – man- I got cooool friends

After many years of trying and trying to b a minor in consequential no body in the  beautiful people crew

I think I might have made it

Cause these friends are beautiful inside and out!

 If interested in attending next marriage seminar mail me with your email address.

The Mindfull that’s in All of Me

Billie Holiday – All of me via @YouTube

Please please please check out this song

You’ll b happy to hear it’s not MY song

Cause I just ain’t like that- Billy Holiday -All of me

Pure unadulterated emotion

Tried for half an hour to copy the link 🔗 now I’m gonna free myself from the chains of technological challenge, find an iota of energy and go down the stairs and get that dratted lap top

Now  I’ve got that straight-  I wanna wear the deconstructionist white coat-if u don’t mind

All of me, why not take all of me

What a thing to say- I mean- when I re heard this 2 weeks ago-the aesthetic alone blew myears – sweet honey dripping melancholy –

Billy surpassed herself with the sentiment and sound blended, entangled, entwined tragically and perfectly

But those first utterances also reminded me of what I have said to all those around me for 39 years

You took the best, so why not take the rest

Baby take all of me

These lines, remind me of how easy it is to lose self esteem for the sake of love.  We give ourselves up, hoping the sacrifice will heal us.  Sometimes, we put ourselves on the altar – willingly, sincerely, desperately

Other peoples altars are what we’ve chosen to  languish and drape ourselves on

and can u guess the outcome?

Bad Bad vibes thrown in with a bit of icon worship

I just wanted to give myself to others – their pain their angst their injustice

When you feel like you are really a waif and stray!!
When you feel like you are really a waif and stray!!

Listening to soul full Billy – I can start to b a grown up and take responsibility for this path of self deprivation I chose

That I need to re define stuff but free of bitterness or resentment

It’s all a bit overwhelming when I look at the magnitude of it all-thats where the present, the gift of now, the mind full ness sets a new chilled tone

Rather than the

All of me

mantra- I am living in the now, the senses of the present are the things I am dwelling on.

The feel of my daughter’s heavy head on my elbow, the freedom of wiggling my toes in the warm duvet, the orangey tint of my lamp, the transcendent sound of Billy, the knowledge and powerlessness of all she suffered… but just accepting it. No need to fight or shout or rant about injustices that slavery, poverty bring…

I’m living in that now moment and making the fullest I can of it

Knowing not just hoping that the big pic of my life and my nearest and dearest will sort in the time God choses

If I have any hope of being a help not a hindrance in my life – I need to be in that calm place and claim  All of Me back from the arena of public torture I placed myself in at the tender age of 15

Thanks Billy for teaching me today to take the eyes of navel gazing self sacrifice

but search for what is good noble pure RIGHT now before me  right in front of me

Soaking up the magnificent now
Soaking up the magnificent now

Continue reading

My new beginning

Joy relief absolute absolute

Words cannot

I cannot

I need to do a Shakespeare or a Dahl and make up some word to precisely express da emotions pumping thru da arteries

The music 🎶 that I adore, that allows my very soul and fibre speak unfettered

2 offerings are out there -in the public domain -thru the most amazing musicians

20 years in the making and it actually happened

Not gonna give u a

cheesy moral of the story about perseverance etc

What will fulfil you is written on your heart

Stop look listen

Ps it has to involve pain so count that cost

That’s why everyone in South Africa can sing

Nuff said