I have something to confess – keep it to yourself. I am –
supremely arrogant, cynical and magnificently gullible
How The Lord managed to mingle polar opposites in one sane – last time I checked -mind -defies me
Ps if u have any odd cocktail of traits please reply -at the v least it will give me that delusion of being normal for a bit!
Why did I tell u this? Well- seminars and self help stuff turns me offfffffff. My mind gets filled with cheesy cliches and images of insincere good looking people trying to pull a fast one and make a quick buck out of peoples bad life situs.
Deep drama in little moments- I am a fan of quirky word combo’s
Come on guys- feels like I’m losing u- take a deep breath and allow your mind to spread over these words-
Deep drama in little moments
Our speakers showed us that working together on the minutia – the everyday- as a couple -teaches us beautiful principles of trust, being different to our past, being quiet, suggesting gently, giving in but not giving up….
This mindful moment was achieved thru some highly technical psychological top of the range equipment- tooth picks and blue tac.
Building together was so refreshing for us as a couple and set a tone of enjoying the moment and casting out my negative pre conceptions of seminars
We talked as a whole group about turning to each other in our relationship thru everyday stuff from doing laundry to travelling to work together to going to community events to reading out loud together
It showed me that the trivial is the glue of true togetherness.
We travelled thru the idea of accepting influence from your spouse. There were some great conversational starters or dampeners – depending on the quality of relationship :
My spouse is usually too emotional
I try to listen respectfully, even when I disagree
If I keep trying to convince my spouse, I will eventually win
Being honest with one another was tough and refreshing as an oasis in a desert. The cooool jazz in the back ground definitely helped.
Then we looked at using 5 steps to solving problems
-Have a gentle start up
-Have a gentle response
-Find common ground
-Bear with each other’s faults
Now this was music to all our ears! We were being given tools to take away and practice with.
Then we just had jokes on our tables looking at how to soften comments so they move from conversation stoppers to opening our hearts toward one another
How to turn
You’re too wimpy to get a pay rise.
I can’t stand it when your mother comes over.
When was the last time you bought me anything?
There wasn’t a right or wrong. The discussion -the journey of noting the potential emotional terrain of cess pits, lakes of content, pot holes and scenic stopping points filled us with energy and giggles.
I suppose it was empathising with couples of various races, classes, educational exposure yet hearing that what seems so unique to our relationship is actually common to mortality
Between a lovely lunch and more guffaws and comedy we ended with a couple heart to heart about our future dreams for life and blending them toward a tag line for our families that we can re visit and remind ourselves over and over.
I felt so grateful that my mates down the road could inject us all with hope.
That’s when I had the a ha moment – man- I got cooool friends
After many years of trying and trying to b a minor in consequential no body in the beautiful people crew
I think I might have made it
Cause these friends are beautiful inside and out!
If interested in attending next marriage seminar mail me with your email address.