Trials

I’m really not one of those rags to riches, cheesy, overnight success stories.

My path has been strewn with abuse, depression, failure and so on…

Right now I’m parked at the station of self pity where I’m underwhelmed by sorrow. My circumstances of court cases, temporary accommodation, financial hardship and alienation from family can form mind forged manacles and deep seated self hatred entwined with bitterness.

On top of that, I am a highly emotional animal and those feelings colour everything from the taste of the air to how good I look in those jeans.

How do we keep going when we’re buried underneath heaps of gnawing problems?

Express-tell people who don’t judge, tell them clearly what u need. I send texts summarising the new depressing event and make it clear if I want a phone call or not or just positive vibes from very far away .

Sometimes there just isn’t anyone to confide in and samaratans etc are just as good to just offload

Get in touch with your gut. Be silent. Be still. Feel the pain. Don’t avoid it.
It’s at these lonesome moments that inspiration pops up like a jack in a box and addiction is more likely to be avoided.

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(me waiting at the benefits office regarding eviction)

To be frank, this alone-timehas kept me alive and that get feeling tells me random stuff like

Have some chicken shop wings 3 for a pound!
Listen to something serene, uplifting or incredibly sad to empathise or lift my mood
Step back from individuals you feel judged by
Sleep
Walk
Check on a friend coz they still need u
Dance
Make new friends because things are feeling stale -Meetup. Com has brought many kindred spirits into my life for over a year now and added new hues and tints to my colourscape!

Get professional advice from GP, citizens advice, police, therapists.Invest time in researching and learning about you.

Leave an overwhelming email or message until strong enough to deal

Live life at the pace I can manage and ask ppl to slow down

Say no even if it was an initial yes. Those who truly love u, will truly understand

Feel free to express your inner self through adornments of every kind.

Change your mind

Take kodak moments of tiny treasures of joy

Step back, review and thank the higher power for stuff that worked from an unexpected smiley face, to a discount to a chance that momentarily gave me hope even if it didn’t work out

Care about stuff outside of you. Boy doez it bring perspective and gratitude

I’m feeling so sad right now… Hoping some of this works for me…

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