Girlfriend….

Friendship is one area I never got…

Didn’t understand how to be myself with people…

Surviving under the coercive, controlling thumb of parents and partners has made me incredibly vulnerable and gullible.  It means I’ll do anything to be liked including losing myself….

Enter: depression=anger turned inwards.

So how do I find my way, with all this baggage, through the maze of mind games to healthy relationships?

“Do you.” So overused yet so true.

I started doing me and guess what-? those people who are bad for me… who doubt me to the point of feeling like I’m burning alive… just fell to the wayside. Their sweet smiles, cute emojis and ‘genuine concern’ loses its power.

They just melt into the background of my existence,my consciousness, my attention

Honestly it’s like a rebirth when unhelpful people just fall to the wayside. Distance is a great protector when you’re such a people pleaser like me.

(In fact I needed the police, social services, judges, doctors, lawyers and court cases to create adequate distance between me and my x so I could breathe easy and just plain live…)

Once you create space in your life through this healthy distance… you can actually hear your inner voice so much clearer…. it’s amazing how you have the emotional confidence and space to attract light giving, supportive, non judgemental souls who don’t feel any need to dictate your decisions …

They’re enablers… they find you, you find them, the universe catalyses a colliding of souls…

These 3 women care for me. I know this and I thank the higher power for them.

Andrea the literary friend whose seen me thru many years of depression.

Huma the new friend who has so much insight and wisdom.

Liz who lives in a parallel universe and shares so much pain.

Never give up on connection😊

2 thoughts on “Girlfriend….

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