As a long term sufferer of severe depression and now that I have no job as a zero hour teacher…I can feel utterly undone and just want to sink into my duvet unendingly.
So just getting out feels like a massive milestone.I’m waiting for the medal and praise, the rapturous round of applause as I finally twist the cold door handle and venture out…there is an eerie, anti climactic emptiness awaiting me.
I’m out and boy does it fill you with goodness.
To the humans on my WhatsApp, this is just normal…’just what we do’. ‘Get out while you can’ they keep saying.
Now I’m here and feeling the sun’s warmth on my neck, the blinkingly, blinding light, the wash of blue framing the blossoms and budding trees…natures remedy.
Will it help me tomorrow?…. This is a present for now. I must enjoy it now.
Tomorrow will be another battle. Another battle to see and feel the light.