Gratitude works.

Today was a hard day…

2 hours mediation about my children with professionals and family

I flew through a myriad of emotion and pain of the past like a buzzing bee collecting pollen

Anxious, vulnerable, defensive, angry…

It was a spinning wheel of misfortune touching on infected wounds , unanswered questions, self blame: an abyss of sadness

Yet, somehow chinks of light glinted through the thick, cloudy bleakness

Lists of positives are a cheesey activity that I try to avoid at all costs but in these hard times, ‘gratitude lists’ melts the rock hard, ice cold cynicism I feel.

This painting by Turner says it all.

img-20191019-wa0007

 

The iridescent, glistening light speaks hope into a chasm of dank, dark times.

‘count your blessings’ a go- to of many a religion and self help group that I might have poo pooed in the past, actually works..

The positivity justs eats away at the heaviness and stops one from dragging ones feet that heavily … not necessarily a spring in the step, but a tad bit lighter

 

Today I’m thankful for friends who carried me through the stress and picked up all the emotional shit I threw, a new routine for me and my kids, breathtaking art at the Tate Britain, holding hands and feeling like a little girl again with my special friend…

 

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.