Today was a hard day…
2 hours mediation about my children with professionals and family
I flew through a myriad of emotion and pain of the past like a buzzing bee collecting pollen
Anxious, vulnerable, defensive, angry…
It was a spinning wheel of misfortune touching on infected wounds , unanswered questions, self blame: an abyss of sadness
Yet, somehow chinks of light glinted through the thick, cloudy bleakness
Lists of positives are a cheesey activity that I try to avoid at all costs but in these hard times, ‘gratitude lists’ melts the rock hard, ice cold cynicism I feel.
This painting by Turner says it all.
The iridescent, glistening light speaks hope into a chasm of dank, dark times.
‘count your blessings’ a go- to of many a religion and self help group that I might have poo pooed in the past, actually works..
The positivity justs eats away at the heaviness and stops one from dragging ones feet that heavily … not necessarily a spring in the step, but a tad bit lighter
Today I’m thankful for friends who carried me through the stress and picked up all the emotional shit I threw, a new routine for me and my kids, breathtaking art at the Tate Britain, holding hands and feeling like a little girl again with my special friend…